Here, here, neglected little friend.

Okay, hey. I know, I;ve ignored you guys for a little while, but it's because, and prepare yourself for a shock, I had NO TIME TO BLOG (OMG SRSLY YES). It was my birthday a little while ago, and I was all BURFDAY YAYS and like SWIM SWIM SWIM and like OAH AMY AND JAS CAN HAS STAY ROUND and then everything was all WOAH GUD TIEMS LOLOL and before I knew it, I was having too much fun to play nerd.
Okay, I've decided I need a blogging routine, so here's the deal. Sunday evenings you get the Monday top ten, and Fridays you get the weekly blog post, m'kay? M'KAY? Yesh. M'kay. And I'll only post in school weeks. If I'm on holiday or Half Term or anything, I won't blog, 'cause I'll be too busy pretending to have friends (insert ROFLSHVUAKOMAIL face here).

Story time!


So, I got my Converses, and was like "SO MANY SHOES ALL THE SAME" and remembered I had pink laces somewhere, and was all NEED THEM but could find them nowhere.


Then I remembered something Josie Lawrence said on QI the night before, about asking one Saint Anthony to find it, 'cause he's the patron saint of lost things. I was sceptical, but tried it.


I asked, albeit nervously, and waited a half hour before looking again.


When I started looking again, I found the laces withing minutes. It was so COOL.


Then I realised that if Saint Anthony existed, it meant God existed. And if God existed, I was going to hell.

*sigh* I am losing my talent for including teapots in my rants. Here's what I imagine Saint Anthony would look like as a teapot.

That yellow stuff around his head is meant to be the gowy halo thing you see in stained glass windows. Not orange juice. It looks like orange juice. I know.

Try not to bother Saint Anthony too much. He's probably quite busy since Josie Lawrence virtually advertised him on Prime Time Telly.
AML, Little Teapot.
P.S. HUGH LAURIE IS AWESOME.

A little late again: top ten.

1) Top word:
2) Top song: Poison by Bell Biv DeVoe
3) Top TV show: Shooting Stars
4) Top movie: The Matrix Revolutions (Top line: "It is remarkable how similar the pattern of love is to the pattern of insanity.")
5) Top food: Fox's Glacier Mints
6) Top book: None at the moment (but the prescence of Top line makes this okay)
7) Top band: Slipknot (Makes me sad because people'll think I've gone "OMG bandwagon! Lemme on bitch.")
8) Top gadget: My webcam ('cause I've got MSN now and I'm like "LOLOL LETS DO WEBCAM CHAT!!!!! TELL ME I'M PRETTY")
9) Top blog/site: DeviantART (watch me, I'm DeadSmexeh)
10) Top video game: Harvest Moon DS (not played it for a little while but it's still great)
And this week's top thing is... MSN! (wow, lots of brackets in this post.)

Wierd...dream...must...share...

Hey, compupeeps. It's me again, with a blog post entailing my dream. I don't think that's the right context for the word "entailing", but it's a cool word.

My dad and I are in the petrol station. (For n00b benefit, here's my dad).



So, we're at the petrol station, and we go into the shop and there are loads of boxes with puppies in them. And randomly, my friend Emily is with us. (Here's Emily, for n00b benefit).



So, I say to dad, "Dad, can we get a puppy?" and he's like "Okay," and Emily's like "Tom's got a cute puppy." Just for the record, I don't even know if Tom's got a dog. So... yeah. "It's a Basset Hound," says Emily. So my dad reaches into a box labelled "Basset Hounds" and pulls out a Daschund. "Like this?" he says to Emily. "Yeah," says Emily, so dad says we can take the dog for, and I quote, a "test drive". So we leave the shop, and Emily goes and sits in a van (god only knows why). Me and dad, puppy in arms, walk up the hill to where Katie and her family are having a picnic. (Katie and her family, for n00b benefit).



So, Mrs Katie goes to Little Katie "Guess what happened to me at work today?" and Little Katie goes "What?" and Mrs Katie goes "I got an email from Robbie Williams!" and Little Katie goes "What did it say?" and Mrs Katie goes "ROBBIE WILLIAMS!" and Mister Katie was all "Omnomnom sandwiches,". Because, remember, it was a picnic.

TEAPOT TIME.





I hope you've enjoyed this edition of Spout of Wisdom. I don't remember what happened to the Daschund puppy, Little Teapot.

Can I ever get this on time??

[b]You know how people always say they "hate Mondays"?? I have the solution![/b]
[i]It's Little Teapot's top ten![/i]

1) Top word: Pessimistic
2) Top song: [i]Amerika[/i]by Rammstein
3) Top TV show: House M.D.
4) Top movie: The Matrix
5) Top food: Philadelphia
6) Top book: [i]Four Blondes[/i] by Candace Bushnell
7) Top band: Nirvana
8) Top gadget: Bamboo graphics tablet
9) Top blog/website: Why Eat Forum
10) Top video game: Guitar Hero 5 (Nintendo Wii)
And this week's top thing is... [b][i]Sweets![/b][/i]

Sorry the coding's all gay. I forgot whether or not Blogger was HTML when I drafted this in Word. I fail, Little Teapot.

Old post

Hi guys. Little Teapot's back with a brand new rant. Gawd, it's been over a week... but that's okay, right? Right.
It's now summer! It doesn't really seem like it. It's rained, like, the whole time. But that's okay.
My mum and I moved my room around 'cause I got a new bed, but now I can't get wireless signal in my room. I don't know what's wrong, but I think it's to do with the router, so I'll ask my neighbours (who I'm siphoning internet from like it's gasoline) what's up with their web. Might be the fact that they’ve gone on holiday and may have turned off their wireless thingy. Yeah… that’s probably it. But that’s okay too.
I was not that chuffed when school closed for the summer, because it meant the boy I like *cough*havefalleninlovewith*cough* is moving away. I don't know if he'll be back after the holidays or not. The last day went something like this.
Morning. Get up, go to school. Friend approaches. She also likes said boy, but I swear not as much as I do. She says he looks lonely, which is code for "If we're together, he will see how much of a horrible person you are compared to me and will love me forever and hate you". We go and sit with him. She's all "OMG I'm shy look at me I'm being shy FFS LOOK AT ME". He's looking at the table. He looks upset. I try to make conversation. I steal his shoe and let him know that he can't move away without his shoe. He tries to retrieve his shoe. I accidentally slam my chair down on his shoeless foot. I give his shoe back. He leaves me with his bag. Mistake. I take his bag and run to our next lesson (ICT). He finds his bag. We're all on Facebook. I'm chatting to him. He tells me his foot's bleeding. I go and see. Yes, it is. I hug him loads and loads. I begin to smell like him. It's pleasant.
After lunch. We're ready to go home for the holidays. Everyone is hugging him saying goodbye. I hug him. I can't help but start crying. My mascara is running down my face. After a few minutes, I feel that he's resting his head on my shoulder. I cry even more. When I stop hugging him, I see that his nice white school shirt is black with mascara. I look at my reflection. I look like this.
9img0
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “What a tool.” I guess I’m just a bit upset. I mean… it’s just really difficult… Sorry for posting such a depressing paragraph. Moving swiftly on…

It’s my birthday soon (22nd of August. Comment on this post if you feel like sending me a birthday present. It can be an uber useless present if you want, but I just like presents. Let’s be honest, who doesn’t like presents?) and I think I may have talked a friend into buying me a hoodie. The conversation went something like this:
Friend: ii <3 mii hoodiee lul (Actually, said friend doesn’t type like that, he types with perfect grammar and stuff, but no capitals. I don’t know why.)
Me: I don’t have a hoodie. “/
Friend: OOMMGG uu don’t hav a hoodiee???? Wtff is rong wif uu??
Me: I threw all my clothes out in a bout of pessimism. I didn’t have a hoodie beforehand though.
Friend: ii get hoodiees for free cuz mii dad gets dem 44 m33
Me: Ah. It’s my birthday soon. You’re buying me a hoodie, aren’t you?
Friend: lolol ill see :DD
Me: Well, since you get free hoodies, you blatantly have the money to buy me one! “)
Friend: lolol yeh alrightyy XD

I can’t be asked to blog any more, Little Teapot.